Zara hatke zara bachke yeh hei Mumbai meri jaan

Having to move to Mumbai from a place so closed and conservative as Chennai is quite exciting considering the out of the world descriptions usually given by the many hard core lovers of the city. “Happening”, “Singles haven”, “Don’t care”, “Fun all time” etc etc are often the things that I have been told before I moved in here. “Always drive with seat belt on”, “don’t be late to stations”, “you will be charged for water consumption”, “make sure to forget your purse while shopping”, “don’t be shocked by the fashion”, “be careful of pick pocketers” were some of the ADVICES I was given while trying to steer through the streets of Mumbai.

I am not a person that gets intimidated by scary warnings, in fact they turn me on and get me motivated to dare the warning. So stepped into Mumbai expecting a lot of interesting differences from Chennai, and differences there were. These incidents below were not good or bad but something that I have not experienced in Chennai.

First play in Mumbai called “Vaginal Monologues”

My special interest in theatricals always made me a frequent visitor to plays and stand up comedies, so when one such came my way I grabbed it. The theatre was closed and cozy, the audience was all well dressed and looked rich with a combination of old and young. The topic was quite a strikingly explicit one that I wouldn’t particularly prefer, but I “obviously” discarded the chances that anyone would dare talk to openly amidst a crowd. But they did ! In fact that made the entire crowd shout and utter the word VAGINA to make them feel comfortable….like shouting SEX will help people talk about it to others. Some things are meant and appreciated to remain private and this undoubtedly is one such thing. One of the lead actress even boasted that it was banned in Chennai by the City Commissioner considering the law and order risk it posed J I am sure the commissioner took a good decision.

Driving in my car

There wasn’t too much difference in the traffic or rules between Chennai and Mumbai but the traffic is certainly double the former. You just have to get used to seeing cops wearing topis here, taller and tummy less compared to our UNCLES back home. I was told they arent any better in collections, but I wasn’t a victim so far so I mustn’t complain. In fact you can see people selling books, magazines, pens, wiping cloths, peanuts in the signals which are very good business models. But driving in the city gives you a rather incredible feeling of power that you can now drive anywhere in the world J

Take the train

No Mumbai stay is complete without travelling in the train once during the peak hours. Getting into the first class ladies coach will seem quite easy as you can see some order and sophistication in the behavior of fellow travelers. All of them carrying a frontpack (not the backpack) to avoid thefts and wearing loads of makeup and pointed heels. I especially loved the Kurla station foot overbridge. It is the toughest challenge that can be kept in the finals for AXN “amazing race” or “fear factor”. When I cross it I get a sense a achievement………….like I have climbed up the success stairs of my life types!

Shady corners with Paani Poori

Back in Chennai if people like me who worked in IT/ITES/Telco with a little worry on the hygiene would prefer joints like Gangotri and Shreemithai for a nice tangy paani poori. In Mumbai you don’t have any such joints, you only have dim lit or not lit road corners with not so clean looking guys selling paani poori in heaps. I haven’t had the nerve till now to try them.

BMW owner that spits paan on the road

If you found a Honda or a BMW on Chennai roads the owners are typically ones that are rich, spoilt, sophisticated, well dressed, and “wont step out in sun” candidates. Well here, I witnessed a BMW owner, I confirm that with his branded dressing style and expensive goggles, open the router in the traffic signal waiting time and spitting paan in the middle of the road. Now that’s not a pleasant sight honestly.

Beggars that shouldn’t be called so

I am a person who doesn’t encourage people demanding or sometimes literally emotionally pleading for money. I get a cold stare back or carry on attitude from my Chennai pleaders, but Mumbai stares you into the eyes. A couple of transgenders at the Sion signal speaking tamil knocked every car window asking for money, and unfortunately I decided to be a little generous that day. I figured out a 2 Rs coin which I used admire for its picture on the tail end ( I have a little fancy to look at and collect nicely imprinted coins) and decided to let go of it to help a person. HOW WRONG I WAS ! The person who received it asked for a “NOTE” and not a coin and when I politely smiled back and said NO, the coin came back to me on my lap. Only then I realized how insignificant that 2Rs was for a pleading Mumbaikar.

And i am not the first person........listen to this song.............even before i was born i think someone knew it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5eutyOP3a0